Diary of a God Girl

…eat slow, take small bites

Tangled Sheets

I wake up in tangled sheets with a roof over my head and hardwood under my toes and clean cold water to splash on my hot face. I watch the green leaves dance outside my window and the cute little cardinal plop on the branch that bounces up and down where the food is. I think of God when He tells me to “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?”

I crack an egg in a pan on a stove that makes heat to cook it when I turn it on. I have a cup for my coffee. It has a bird on it. I plop myself on my oversized couch and turn the TV on. I watch the world wither away in arrogance and greed and war and hunger and deception and hate and earthquakes and genocide and anti-Semitism and selfishness and atheism and Hollywood-ism.  And I watch vicious demonic spirits trying to find bodies to live inside.

I thank God I live in America. I thank God He found my body to live inside. I thank God I am free from deception and child sexual abuse and selfishness and condemnation.  I thank God for tangled sheets.  I thank God for changing messed up people like me who were living in messed up closets hanging on to lies dressed in beautiful colors that blinded our eyes. I thank God for making me feel like I am good enough and that I am not nothing.

I am humbled that I hold a key that turns the doorknob that opens my front door that attaches to the roof over my head and the hardwood floors that lead to the bed with the pillows that I sleep in every night. And a key that reveals the treasures hidden in my sometimes ungrateful heart where Jesus lives, where the Truth is.

I repent for thinking my way was ever better than the way, the truth and the life I have been given.

John 14:5-6 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”  Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.”

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